BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
