I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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