Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
either way he was missing a nipple.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
