you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
