so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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