Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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