My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
