6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
