his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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