how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
