I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
