Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm eating all of the evidence.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
