This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
