I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
