He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
