I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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