dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
