you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
