u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
