..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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