guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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