is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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