I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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