i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize