she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
