...so i touched it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you made out with another girl for some wings
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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