I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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