I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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