A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
