Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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