BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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