Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
