I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just want nice things and good sex
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
