im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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