Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
