You work out of a Hotel?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
