He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish you could order shots online.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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