I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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