i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
