I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
