so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
