But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
