She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
