just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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