is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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