I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
