I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I look better un-naked...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
