I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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