i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
