Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
